41 Tacos: Tacos & beer

Life is full of annoyances sometimes. People who don't want to eat tacos all the time. Restaurants that don't serve tacos. Activities that deny you access to tacos. Places that serve tacos, but they're not authentic, so you don't really get the full taco experience that you crave. We would all undoubtedly like to rid the world of all of these horrors, but in the tragically non-Utopian society in which we live, they exist and we must deal with them.

On Saturday I visited the 21st Amendment Brewery in San Francisco to treat my girlfriend to a romantic Valentine's Day dinner. They had fish tacos on the menu, and you'd be out of your mind if you didn't think that I ordered the damn things (Translation: I got the fish tacos).

Potato chips? Oh no you didn't!

As you look at the above picture, you're probably saying, "Whoa, chief, hold on. Really, dude. For real. No way. What's going on here? You've got to be kidding me. No you didn't. What is that?"

I would agree 100%.

The tacos were not authentic. First clue: they come with potato chips. But despite the lack of authenticity, they were not too shabby. A double toasted flour tortilla was wrapped around two fried whitefish slices and covered in onions, cilantro, crema, and typical taco spices. Could have been worse. As for the potato chips...eh...not my first choice. But the tacos got a solid 7/10.

Another interesting topic is which beer you should pair with tacos? I tried two very different ones: the 21st Amendment Hop Crisis Double IPA (an 11.8% alcohol hop bomb) and the 21st Amendment Hell or High Watermelon Wheat Beer (a light, fruity, slightly sour American wheat). Neither really fit the bill exactly. The Double IPA was a little too intense for the pairing and overwhelmed the more subtle fish flavors. The Wheat Beer, on the other hand, was a little weak to stand up to the tacos and had the wrong kind of fruit flavors. My suspicion is that the best pairing for tacos may be something like a fairly well-hopped amber ale. For fish tacos, a lemony, citrusy Belgian-style wit may work well, and for gamy or offaly tacos, an hoppy IPA (but probably not a Double IPA) may complement the strong flavors of the meat. We will explore this topic again later of course.

2 tacos consumed.
41 total tacos this year.
Current pace: 305 tacos.

18 Tacos: A taco to remember...or not

For much of the day on Saturday, I found myself in San Francisco's Haight district on an epic all-day pub crawl for a friend's birthday. Now if you've ever been to the Haight or read about it, you are probably aware that it is a place where a lot of people do a lot of things they don't remember later. The Haight is full of hippies, and hippies put all kinds of chemicals that have no business being in their bodies into their bodies to provide temporary relief from this cruel world full of all the things they detest (veal, Republicans, war, non-hybrid SUVs, razors, animal testing, showers, etc).

Being somewhat of a straight-laced individual myself, my poison of choice was not the kind of thing that makes you see yellow monkeys dancing around purple toadstools all day; it was good old CH3CH2OH - "ethanol" in layman's terms, or just "alcohol" in even layerman's terms. Lots of it.

One thing you may not know about alcohol is that it makes you hungry for tacos. Other things that make you hungry for tacos, in my experience, are breathing, hearing the word "taco" in any context, and going more than 4 hours without eating tacos. Nevertheless, according to witness accounts, a time came when I suddenly decided that I absolutely had to have a taco immediately. This place called El Balazo was right across Haight St. and I made a beeline for it. There was no stopping me.

Approximately one of these tacos allegedly ended up in my stomach.

Since I shared this platter of two tacos with my girlfriend, I am going to count this as one taco consumed. How were these tacos? Hell if I know, but I'm sure they seemed pretty damn good at the time. ?/10.

1 taco consumed.
18 total tacos this year.
Current pace: 253 tacos.

2 Tacos: The mission begins...in The Mission

What better place is there to start a great mission than a place called The Mission? That's exactly what I did yesterday. I found myself driving around San Francisco by myself (no idea how I got there) and decided, as I often do, that it was time for some tacos. I had heard about this place called La Taqueria, which was famous for two things: 1) an incredibly creative name, and 2) awesome tacos.

As I was sitting at La Taqueria, which is located in SF's Mission District (a.k.a. "The Mission"), a thought crossed my mind: "I should do this more often. In fact, not only should I do this more often, I should make it my MISSION." With that, 500 Tacos was born.

The tacos I should have ordered are pictured, not the skimpier ones I actually did order.

How were the actual tacos? They were big and they were great. The chicken taco was fairly standard but the meat was a little flavorful than usual. I'll give it a 7/10. The carnitas taco, however, was outstanding. The meat was juicy and succulent, reminding me of a Mexican version of good Southern pulled pork. 9.5/10. Toppings were fairly skimpy on both tacos despite their considerable size, and I regret not ponying up for some guac. The bill was a little steeper than I would have liked: $3.50 for a bare bones taco and significant surcharges for all the toppings you would want. Still, do not be surprised if La Taqueria makes an encore appearance at some later time this year.

2 tacos consumed.
2 total tacos this year.
Current pace: 41 tacos.

0 Tacos: Intro and F.A.Q.

It's always good to start off a new year with some sort of purpose. Some people resolve to lose weight, be a better person, cure a type of cancer, or contribute to world peace. Those are great goals and all, but I have something a little bigger in mind: I am going to eat 500 tacos in 2009. That's 41.67 tacos per month, 9.59 tacos per week, 1.37 tacos per day. I'm also going to talk about all kinds of extremely interesting taco-related stuff. Now I've already eaten about 22 tacos this year, but I'm not going to count those because they were not documented properly, so as far as you know, I could be lying about eating them. Hell, I probably am lying. I do that a lot. It's fun to see if you can get away with it. For example, if someone asks me, "How tall are you, about 6-foot-1?" and I really am 6'1" (I really am), I might say, "No, I'm 8-foot-7." To that, they might say, "No you're not. I'm 5'11" and you're barely taller than I am." and I would admit defeat, saying something like, "Damn it! You got me." Sometimes you can really fool people though, and that can be really rewarding.

I realize we're already well into the new year, and for that reason I'm going to count the two tacos I ate yesterday at La Taqueria in San Francisco as tacos #1 and #2. Deal with it. Those tacos were awesome. The post will be coming soon.

Now, before we get started, a few FAQ...

Q: Why tacos?
A: There is no greater food in the world. I could have called this "500 artichokes" or "500 crab rangoons," but that would just be silly and not enjoyable. The flavor of tacos is unrivaled, and tacos have a sort of star quality that you rarely see among other foods. Does Jennifer Lopez sing a song about granola bars, potato skins, or pumpkin pies? No, she sings about tacos. It is NOT a coincidence.

J-Lo and I love tacos. If you don't, then seriously dude, just shut up.

Q: Are you a Mexican?
A: Only in my taste buds. I wish every day that I could claim to have descended from the great people who invented this unbelievably delicious gift from the gods, but as far as I know, I'm a pretty boring, standard, run-of-the-mill American whitey. My family's origins are Italian, German, Irish, and possibly a small amount of Pennsylvania Dutch.

Q: Aren't you going to get sick of eating tacos?
That is a stupid question. In short, no. When I was in college, I once successfully completed the "Taco Bell Challenge," in which you have to eat $20 worth of Taco Bell tacos and 40's of malt liquor in 90 minutes. After emerging victorious, then throwing up a massive amount of material that amazed all spectators after time had expired, do you know what I wanted to do next? Eat a damn taco, that's what.

Q: Who the hell do you think you are?
A: An unstoppable taco-eating machine, one of the great heroes of the modern era, and nothing less than a legend. I feel sorry for those of you who doubt me. This is happening.