"It's a tough economy, so I'll settle for ONLY $10 million this year." Douchebags like this are not worthy.
The super-rich in this country seem to have it all: beluga caviar every night for dinner, millions in bailout money from the U.S. government so that they can still afford to make payments on their 8th house and 3rd yacht. But there is one thing that they do not have, and that is tacos. Tacos are one of the best-kept secrets that we in the bottom 99% must guard closely from the snobby douchebags that have everything else.
So I was in the Napa and Sonoma region for a couple days and ended up going to Willi's Wine Bar in Santa Rosa, CA on Monday night to make up for taking my girlfriend to a brewpub for Valentine's Day Dinner. The only taco-related item on the menu was the Dungeness Crab Tacos. It goes without saying that I ordered it, shelling out an astronomical $12 for the pleasure. The tacos were covered in Fuji apples, slaw, cucumber, and mint and served in crispy fried shells. Were they good? Yes, they were very tasty, as they'd better be for $4 per small taco. 8.5 - 1 point for lack of authenticity = 7.5/10 overall.
I ate two of the three tacos pictured and had them with a glass of Riesling. The pairing was actually pretty legit - the sweetness of the Riesling went well with the slightly sweet crab meat. Highly recommended. But the whole experience felt a little bit fake to me. It was nowhere near as emotionally satisfying as wolfing down five of the bad boys from Taqueria Latina with a plastic cup full of horchata. I had to take a cold shower afterwards.
While I always enjoy tacos in any form and am happy that I was able to at least make do with what was available, I feel that I must do something to redeem myself in the eyes of my millions of loyal supporters. I will make a glorious comeback, just you wait.
2 tacos consumed.
43 total tacos this year.
Current pace: 314 tacos.
There is no shame in non-authentic tacos. Perhaps I will launch a new restaurant chain known for haute-taco-cuisine... Beluga caviar sounds like a good high-end substitution for guac!
ReplyDelete