77 Tacos: A ruby in the rough?

Thanks to Yelp, I was recently able to sample some of the offerings at the elusive Ruby's Taqueria in Sunnyvale, CA. This place was way out in the far reaches a residential neighborhood where the last thing you'd expect to find is a place like this. To get there, you must go through an arduous test to prove your worthiness: a two-mile drive down a straight, wide road where the speed limit is 25 and you just know that the jacket is going to be sweatin' you (translation: cops will come after you) if you push that needle past 30. You want to rev it up to 70, but your paranoia won't let you. So you wait, and wait, and waaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiit.

Finally in the distance, after you've wasted half your day driving these two miles, Ruby's Taqueria appears in the distance like a shimmering oasis in the middle of the Sahara. You get there and you're greeted with none other than.......a full parking lot and a 15-minute line that stretches out the door. Oh well, I guess the secret's out.

This place was way out in the cut

Were these tacos deserving of the name "Ruby?" Again, as with the "tacos of gold," no. They were better than that. Who would want to eat a ruby? What could you possibly hope to get out of it other than a chipped tooth and a shiny red kidney stone? I'll eat my carne asada - you can have the gemstones for dinner. The tacos weren't top-notch, but definitely second- or third-notch, depending on how many notches there are total.

Yes, I was too lazy to take two seconds to put the meat back on that one taco for a better picture.

Here's the rundown:
5) Tingo de pollo. This "spicy chicken" was decent, but not spicy enough for a real taco fiend like myself and a little salty. 6/10.
4) Rajas de chile. This weird concoction of roasted chilies in a strange yellow sauce was surprisingly tasty. I almost didn't miss the meat. 7/10
3) Carnitas. Ruby's cuts their carnitas off a big pork chunk, making it a little less painfully fatty than usual. 7.5/10
2) Carne asada. Tasty, but nothing particularly special. 7.5/10
1) Al pastor. Freshly shaved off the spit, the reliable A.P. emerges as the champ again. 8/10.

5 tacos consumed.
77 total tacos this year.
Current pace: 370 tacos.

63 Tacos: Don't blow out the jalopy for it

The other day I went to Tacos Jalapa in Sunnyvale, CA and thought to myself that "Jalapa" looks a lot like the word "jalopy," which is an underrated word for "car" that has really fallen by the wayside in the past 20 years or so. I guess kids these days are too lazy to say polysyllabic words like "jalopy," "automobile," or even "auto" when a simpler option is available. This is a shame because using those mouth muscles more for things other than wolfing down super-sized Big Mac combos would definitely fight obesity. Oh well.

Speaking of jalopies, or cars, they are quite remarkable machines that can efficiently transport you from your current location to the taco-producing destination of your choice. However you must consider a few things when deciding how far you should drive your vehicle to reach a taco destination of a certain quality:
1) Gas prices
2) Car depreciation (Probably negligible on that old junker you drive).
3) Time value (I value mine at about 4 cents an hour).
4) Carbon emissions, climate change, global warming, blah blah Al Gore whatever.

Tacos Jalapa over the top of my jalopy

Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted by myself, I was talking about Tacos Jalapa. I ordered 5 tacos, which I would break down like this:
5) Cabeza. A little gamy/offaly for my tastes. If you're a head meat kind of guy it may be up your alley. 4/10.
4) Pollo. Pretty standard. 5/10.
3) Carne asada. A little more rubbery than I'd like, but not bad. 6.5/10.
2) Fish. Nicely grilled whitefish, not too fishy. 6.5/10.
1) Al pastor. Good, but not quite up to the level a taco snob like me is accustomed to. 7/10.

The tacos were pretty average, but extra points for stuffing 'em full and having very legitimate green and red salsa.

Was Jalapa decent? Yeah, the tacos weren't too bad, but probably not worth the jalopy ride considering all the other great options in the area.

5 tacos consumed.
63 total tacos this year.
Current pace: 365 tacos.

39 Tacos: Getting your numbers up

Sometimes you just need a good old slumpbuster. You haven't been getting any lately and you're desperate and it's gotten to the point that you'll just settle for anything. Doubly so if you're drunk. You've been in a rut and quality just doesn't matter - as a matter of fact, even the ugly ones are looking pretty damn good as of late.

I'm talking about tacos of course! Get your mind out of the gutter. What better place to bust out of a slump than good old Taqueria Latina?

When you're recovering from one too many six-packs of beer, a six-pack of tacos is just what the doctor ordered.

So after a really rough weekend, I stumbled in a half-vegetative state into Taqueria Latina today and the smell of freshly cooked taco meats made my weary, hungover mind spring to life. I stepped up to the counter and ordered no less than 6 tacos. Pescado. Chile verde (pork). Barbacoa. Pollo. Chorizo. Al pastor.

Now I'm not going to bore you with repetitive details. Here is the rundown of the three tacos I hadn't had before:
3) Barbacoa. Succulent braised beef chunks. Not too flavorful, but definitely no slouch. 7/10.
2) Chile verde. Juicy pork cubes covered in an excellent green tomatillo salsa. Absolutely heavenly. 8/10.
1) Chorizo. I'd like to be a part of this sausage fest every day! The little bites of meat are crispy and flavorful. What's not to love? 8.5/10.

6 tacos consumed.
39 total tacos this year.
Current pace: 356 tacos.

26 Tacos: Who is César Chávez?

Today's taco stop was the Chavez Supermarket in Sunnyvale, CA. I wonder if this place was named for César Chávez. Who is/was César Chávez? I don't know, but I do know that he's important enough to have a street named after him in San Francisco. I don't think anyone actually knows who César Chávez is/was, except the person who named the street and his parents (who may have named the street themselves). Oh well.

Not too shabby for a supermarket.

On to the tacos. They were legit to say the least. I ordered three tacos: one pollo asada (grilled chicken), one al pastor, and one carnitas super taco (with guacamole and crema). All were excellent. The grilled chicken had a great smoky taste. The al pastor was freshly shaved off a spit roast and was very juicy. The carnitas was also succulent and tasty. All were served with pinto beans, onions, cilantro, and a spicy red salsa. I would score the two "porkers" (the pork tacos, not your mom and sister) 8.5/10 and the chicken (the taco, not your girlfriend) 8/10. As a side note, super tacos are definitely the way to go here if you're not on a diet and willing to for over an extra buck and change.

Come on, you know who this guy is, you ignorant bastard.

For the record, César Chávez (1927-1993) was a great civil rights and labor activist who co-founded the National Farm Workers Association and did a lot of other awesome stuff. No disrespect intended. He was the man ("the man" as in a person I admire, not "the man" as in "let's stick it to the man").

3 tacos consumed.
26 total tacos this year.
Current pace: 327 tacos.

12 Tacos: Three little ponies

The next stop on my historic taco-gruffling quest was Tres Potrillos in Sunnyvale, CA. This place's name translates roughly as "three little ponies," although I think the name has a little less wimpy of a connotation to a native speaker.

I doubt this type of abomination comes to mind when most Spanish speakers hear the word "potrillo."

I could keep going on this tangent, but you didn't come here to hear about the lamest toy/TV series ever invented (and no, I haven't forgotten about "Care Bears"), you came to hear about tacos. I applaud you on that.

So I rolled up to Tres Potrillos around a quarter after noon on an overcast Wednesday and was faced with a rather formidable line, about 10 people deep. Evidently the people of Sunnyvale were hungry, and they were hungry for one thing: tacos. After allowing the other taco-crazed madmen and madwomen who had arrived before me to order, I stepped up to the counter and ordered three "super tacos": one pollo, one carnitas, one al pastor. Each one cost $2.35 and came with onions, cilantro, cheese, guacamole, salsa, and crema. These tacos were far from minimalist - they came loaded with goodies and ended up being quite a mess to eat.

These super tacos say, "Screw minimalists!" (with apologies to Mark Bittman).

Here is the rundown on the tacos themselves, from worst to best:
3) Carnitas. Don't get me wrong, it was pretty good, but the meat was a little too fatty for my tastes. 6.5/10.
2) Pollo. The chicken was very tender. Flavor was not out of this world, but come on, it's just chicken. 7/10.
1) Al Pastor. This one totally stole the show. The pork was really juicy, sort of like the kind you get in a top-of-the-line doner kebab sandwich. It was seasoned well and had an awesome fruity sweetness. 9/10.

As a side note, the salsas at T.P. (pretty unflattering acronym, isn't it?) were unbelievable. After I finished eating my food, I had a half ounce or so each of both the roasted chile de arbol salsa and the salsa verde left over. I downed them like shots of liquor, straight up, no chaser. Count it.

3 tacos consumed.
12 total tacos this year.
Current pace: 209 tacos.

7 Tacos: Standing up for the little guy on MLK Day

When it comes to companies, you can pretty much break them down into 2 categories: 1) nice companies that appreciate the great contributions that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. made towards equality for all people in this country, which give their employees this day off, and 2) evil companies that have no respect for humanity whatsoever. I work for the second type of company. Fortunately, the deep state of depression that results from having to work on a national holiday has many known cures, exactly one of which is legal in the state of California. That cure is tacos.

A sight for sore eyes

Enter Taqueria Latina. This little hole-in-the-wall taqueria in Sunnyvale, CA is less than a mile from where I work and is no slouch when it comes to tacos. I am thankful that this place exists near my office in about the same way that I'm thankful that oxygen exists in the air around me. Taqueria Latina is somewhat of a secret weapon of mine: their tacos are small and cheap, so it's a great place to get your numbers up when you're keeping track of how many tacos you eat. Needless to say, this place will be making a large number of appearances on this blog.

Now some of you may be saying, "Wait a minute. Isn't eating smaller tacos sort of cheating?" The answer is that no, it is not. Does a midget count as half of a person? If not, then why should a smaller taco be considered inferior? Have you (much like my company) learned nothing from Dr. King? Are not all tacos are created equal? Ignorant taco racists be damned, I am going to take the more honorable path here and declare that for the purposes of this blog, little tacos from Taqueria Latina, big tacos from La Taqueria, and all tacos in between shall each be considered as exactly one taco. No exceptions.

Anyway, on the menu for today was 5 tacos, all with different meats: pollo (chicken), pescado (fish), chivo (goat), al pastor (pork), and carne asada (steak). All were satisfying, with juicy, well-seasoned meat, onion, cilantro, and excellent hot sauce. If I had to rank them from 1 to 5, with 1 being the best, I would have to go as follows:
5) Chivo ($1.25). Sort of halfway between chicken and beef, the goat meat was little gamey for my tastes, but still not bad. 5.5/10.
4) Pollo ($1). This also has an ever-so-slightly gamey taste, which you usually don't get from chicken. Still, chicken can be dry and bland, but this chicken is tender and well-cooked. 6/10.
3) Pescado ($1.50). They pretty much throw a tasty, well-spiced 2-ounce whitefish filet on the tortilla and throw on the usual fixins. Price is a little higher, but it's worth it. 7.5/10.
2) Carne Asada ($1). The heavyweight of the bunch, this taco is pretty much everything you want it to be. 8/10.
1) Al Pastor ($1). You can't really do much better than this for a buck nowadays, even at the Dollar Store. With excellent seasoning and a little fruity flavor, Taqueria Latina's al pastor taco packs a lot of punch despite its diminutive stature. 8.5/10.

If Dr. King were alive today, I'd like to treat him to a delicious bag o' tacos like this one from Taqueria Latina.

5 tacos consumed.
7 total tacos this year.
Current pace: 134 tacos.