It's always good to start off a new year with some sort of purpose. Some people resolve to lose weight, be a better person, cure a type of cancer, or contribute to world peace. Those are great goals and all, but I have something a little bigger in mind: I am going to eat 500 tacos in 2009. That's 41.67 tacos per month, 9.59 tacos per week, 1.37 tacos per day. I'm also going to talk about all kinds of extremely interesting taco-related stuff. Now I've already eaten about 22 tacos this year, but I'm not going to count those because they were not documented properly, so as far as you know, I could be lying about eating them. Hell, I probably am lying. I do that a lot. It's fun to see if you can get away with it. For example, if someone asks me, "How tall are you, about 6-foot-1?" and I really am 6'1" (I really am), I might say, "No, I'm 8-foot-7." To that, they might say, "No you're not. I'm 5'11" and you're barely taller than I am." and I would admit defeat, saying something like, "Damn it! You got me." Sometimes you can really fool people though, and that can be really rewarding.
I realize we're already well into the new year, and for that reason I'm going to count the two tacos I ate yesterday at La Taqueria in San Francisco as tacos #1 and #2. Deal with it. Those tacos were awesome. The post will be coming soon.
Now, before we get started, a few FAQ...
Q: Why tacos?
A: There is no greater food in the world. I could have called this "500 artichokes" or "500 crab rangoons," but that would just be silly and not enjoyable. The flavor of tacos is unrivaled, and tacos have a sort of star quality that you rarely see among other foods. Does Jennifer Lopez sing a song about granola bars, potato skins, or pumpkin pies? No, she sings about tacos. It is NOT a coincidence.
J-Lo and I love tacos. If you don't, then seriously dude, just shut up.Q: Are you a Mexican?
A: Only in my taste buds. I wish every day that I could claim to have descended from the great people who invented this unbelievably delicious gift from the gods, but as far as I know, I'm a pretty boring, standard, run-of-the-mill American whitey. My family's origins are Italian, German, Irish, and possibly a small amount of Pennsylvania Dutch.
Q: Aren't you going to get sick of eating tacos?
That is a stupid question. In short, no. When I was in college, I once successfully completed the "Taco Bell Challenge," in which you have to eat $20 worth of Taco Bell tacos and 40's of malt liquor in 90 minutes. After emerging victorious, then throwing up a massive amount of material that amazed all spectators after time had expired, do you know what I wanted to do next? Eat a damn taco, that's what.
Q: Who the hell do you think you are?
A: An unstoppable taco-eating machine, one of the great heroes of the modern era, and nothing less than a legend. I feel sorry for those of you who doubt me. This is happening.
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